Message 7: External influences

External influences are the factors lying in environment or suspending on as issues of life.

They pop up unexpectedly, suddenly; or gradually, little by little and increasingly.

We have slight clutch over them in general and understanding of internal influences helps make it safer to undergo them.

There are many external influences. Some of which are present at some point of time in the life span of a person. They are like

  1. Love (marriage) and breakups (divorce)
  2. Economic Failure
  3. Substantial financial loss
  4. Lay off
  5. Becoming a sole parent
  6. Three months or more unemployed
  7. Victim of violence or abuse
  8. Incarceration
  9. Illness
  10. Major injury in health
  11. Unplanned pregnancy and birth of child


Thousands of marital or passionate relationships emerge everyday but how many of them are efficient enough to retain the charm, support and trust.

An unfulfilling romance bond can turn your life a sore. The situation propagates the pangs of pain that damages the relationship more severely. In such relationships, when things don't work, you start fight or flight and both drags you towards loneliness, bereavement, distrust and off track. Either you live with it or quit. Living in such relationship is a vicious cycle of paining oneself for nothing. Quitting without the objectivity is again the same. 

The meaning of such fanciful vis-à-vis answerable relationships lies in their objectivity bejeweled with unimpeded love. This intimacy succeeds once accompanied with responsibility, respect, openness, considerateness, awareness about each other and a pleasing combination of wavelengths. 


You are economically failed if you are not able to meet your expenses i.e. you are in a state of suspension of payments. The stone of economic failure is pelt as an external influence and the aptness of responding to this pelt lies with internal influences.

This may happen to you at any point of time in your life. Financial failure in today's economy is less about what we have brought to ourselves but reckless behavior.  Are you prepared for it as the key to this external influence is preparedness. Economic failure is the offspring of illpreparedness in response to the change. You will have to be quick in understanding and be appreciative in your thought process to the changes taking place in external environment; make composed & focused efforts. The procedure involves cordiality and discipline.

Economic failure is the offspring of ill-preparedness in response to the change.


There could be any mishap behind the financial loss. The cause could be economic failure, illness, accident, theft, addiction and so on. It ruins the financial stability and sometimes leads to misery. The loss of financial stability can be a source of frustration, tension and misunderstandings. As we are not in command of such external influences, we are helpless to exercise control over it. We start living in apprehensions instead of having clear understanding about money and protecting ourselves from the sense of loss and curtailment of the capacity to make choices. This can initiate long lasting vicious cycle. What is effective in such circumstances is to hold on, understand the degree of loss and to start with possible cure in the prevailing resources for restoring the earlier state.

The truth is that the only deficiency or absence which can hamper your family's growth is the deficiency or absence of love.


Among the variety of life-altering events, layoff is one of the highest in stress-causing situations. It is the loss of self-esteem. It may be industry wide or case dependent. It is sudden and breaks the confidence. The person loses his identity. Opportunities seem little and low. Don't blame it on board, market conditions, competition or something else. It is good time to introspect about what kind of job you should really go for, where does your strength lie, should you change your area of specialization?


Single parenthood may occur for a variety of reasons. A few possible scenarios are by choice, divorce, adoption, artificial insemination, surrogate motherhood or the mother conceiving as a result of a short love affair.

Whether it is a single parent or child of such parent, they often have to face dishonor, social problems based on myths, stereotype, chauvinism and discrimination. The taunts may be severe to subtle and leave conscious and subconscious effects. This creates a vicious cycle of deterioration in mental, emotional and social life. The best approach is to face them and understand what is true. The

truth is that the only deficiency or absence which can hamper your family's growth is the deficiency or absence of love.


Unemployed individuals are unable to earn money to meet their financial obligations. Unemployment increases susceptibility to malnutrition, illness, mental stress and loss of self-esteem leading to depression. Lack of financial resources and social responsibilities may push unemployed workers to take jobs that do not fit their skills or allow them to use their talents. Unemployment can cause underemployment, and fear of losing that job can spur psychological anxiety. And all this don't let you come out of vicious cycle of lowliness.

Create time to understand solutions. Understand work skills required and search for work which will make you feel productive. Get together with friends. Be with people who make you laugh and can keep you feeling happy. Exercise. Keep your body fit to reduce stress. Eat well. And above all, always start with yourself.


Violence and abuse are the last shelter of incompetent and ineffective people. Such events are often unpredicted and uncontrollable. Violence has hoards of faces. Victim of violence and abuse suffer from sense of vulnerability, helplessness and disgust and this drags them into vicious cycle of pessimism, poverty, ineffective relationships. They demand unusual coping efforts for restoring cognitive, emotional and behavioral parts of their individuality. In the lack of coping efforts, they are carried away in the current of their emotional turbulence.

Peacekeeping does not always work but violence never does. Differing opinions does not mean absence of love; and presence of love can never let violence appear. Expressing violence in the guise of love is not love.


The reasons of imprisonment could be the lack of application of Common Sense appearing in the form of uncontrolled anger, some known or unknown nexus, hanging fire on some serious issue, ego, distorted paradigms and lack of proactiveness. Prisoners are faced with incidences of violence and are always concerned for their safety. The pains of jail confinement affect all prisoners in different ways. It is the process of deterioration with the passing time, associated with the pain of moral rejection. The prisoner also suffers from lack of trust and respect, lack of contact with family and friends. They lose the autonomy and face many other deprivations. They live the life of regret and are jammed into the cycle of social shun. Inner healing, giving up ego, anger and chauvinism can help keep oneself away from such mishaps.


Illness is a response created by body. This could be the response against infection, burden, pain, malfunctioning of organs, stress and toxic intake etc. Illness is the lack of awareness. If you are not aware what and how your body responds, you are prone to repetition and rotation of illnesses. Awareness of sense of illness, awareness of symptoms, awareness of treatment and as the closing part, awareness of importance of rejection of sense of injury is essential to succeed the illness.


Major health injury can be caused by motor vehicle accident, natural calamities, falls, entrance of foreign objects such as bullet or knife into the tissues of the body, blast injuries, burn injuries etc. These could be created by mechanical devices, heat and cold, electrical discharge, changes in pressure and radiation. Injuries are reflection of poor safety systems or policies and programs.

An injured person has to spend resources for care at different levels. The rehabilitation costs are high. The majority of the survivors with moderate and severe grades of injuries and their families experience life-long psychological impact and have a poor life. Work absenteeism, caused due to this reason leads to loss of productivity and indirect losses to the employer. Denying the severity of condition and bottling of emotions significantly interferes with healing. If you will discipline yourself to make your mind self-sufficient you will be least vulnerable to injury.


The very conception of the fetus is the first step towards the life-long journey of parenthood and it can not be a welcome occurrence for a lady for many a reasons. Faced with an unplanned pregnancy a woman is presented with many options. Married couple may not be in the position of bearing the tremendous responsibility of rearing the child. If the mother is unmarried, the mother and, in case of birth of child, the child too will bear the stigma of illegitimacy.

Unplanned pregnancy and birth of child can drag you in lasting vicious cycle.

Whether you believe in Pro-life or Pro-choice, you should not get rid of a baby merely because you have been careless or because it is inconvenient to have one or you are going to give birth to a child because you are afraid of pain of termination. The point is that it should not be thoughtless and the women/couple should be organized about the future of the child and other circumstances due to birth of child.